Dear God, 
You know Jamkora unintentionally hurt me & I'm pretty mad because he himself is confused - The other day when I told him all our special anniversary plans , he said 'I'm ever ready' but now he says 'No Skype because its gona be painful, but lets do something special' 
Oh God, whats got into my boy? 
Why doesn't he understand that his wifey has waited for 2 whole years for this special day when she could  see him live & hear him, uhh? 
Can't you make him understand please? You know nah he is a bit stubborn and would always do what he feels like doing. And tell me what special thing we can do if not Skype? 
We can make videos , something which we always do and will be doing this time too. What else? we can get cupcakes, I got  a donut last time too nah & surprised him. Don't you think only Skyping will make it extra special? :O I'll wear nice clothes, maybe red, one of his favorite colors and my oh so handsome hubby can dress up nicely too and wear something black (because I want him to) and then we can have a 30 min live chat. Sounds so exciting and romantic <3 God, will you please make Jamkora understand this? Please? 
I always compromise and listen to Jamkora nah, be it studying like a good girl, eating properly, showing him what I had, wearing his favorite color, sending him as many pictures as he wants? Then why doesn't my cutie  listen to me once? And I only had 3 wishes nah, out of which there is only one he can fulfill. Then can't my boy do that? It'll be the best gift on earth and I'll always remember it. You know nah, I don't want any gifts like clothes, sandals, etc etc but just this? 
And will you tell me why is Jamkora trying to be like Maan Singh Khurana? When he makes me upset by saying don't ask for things which I can't give you, we can't skype, blah blah then why he starts showing me attitude? Am I not supposed to be mad at him rather than him being mad at me? Double standards, Grr. In both cases why should I say sorry. When its my mistake, then me jerry runs after Tom and make up nah then Tom should realize this too. 
You know what God, if you want me to cry all the time and if you don't want anything to turn in our favor, then you take my life away. Because I can't be strong anymore. Im tired of fighting all odds. 
You know very well I love Jamkora soooo very much but that doesn't mean i'll ALWAYS compromise & bow down. I have to take a stand sometimes too for my rights. 
One more thing, seems like Jamkora has forgotten the rules of our relationship which I told him the other day - that if we fight, argue or get upset over sth, we are not supposed to stay without talking to each other for more than a day. But I think Jamkora likes to stay away already despite being 4000 miles away from me :(
I can't even hug him. All I can do is hug my pink pillow and imagine that its him. How ironic. -_-
I miss my cutie soo much especially his stoopid jokes which makes me smile wide but only if he will stop being MSK and message me, then things might get better. Else I won't talk to him. No need to melt and soften my heart this time God. Im angry, hurt and upset. Jamkora needs to understand.

See I'm crying now even. 
Please make everything okay God. Please..

Signing off for now.
Jamkora's Hamkora.

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