Hi Monster! 
Can you believe it? Its been 2 whole years! 

I’m so blessed to have you. The guy who understands my craziness, insanity and flaws. The guy who can bear my moodswings, anger, cry baby sessions, complaints. I know we’re really meant for each other and until now, we’re fighting for that belief.

I'll never forget the day when I messaged you first and then gradually we became bestfriends. And especially the day when you said before going for your surgery 'You ought to kmow that I love you' . The day you asked me out 'Will you be my girlfriend?' I was surprised yet clueless. 

 Though things aren't really good between us. We havent talked to each other in this very special month. 
But You know what? I’m so thankful that I’m still with you. I know I’m hardheaded. I am crazy. I am a pain in your neck, but still you never left me.  I know that your love is deep and so true. I felt it and you showed it. We don’t have a perfect relationship for the past two years, but I’m so sure that we enjoyed every moment that we’re together and we learned from the mistakes that we committed. 

This time we might not be able to celebrate it with a bang and I couldn't do much for you either because of the weddings and all. But as long as you can give me a virtual hug and a flying kiss, as long as I can hear your voice or see you, as long as I can tell you how much I love you , as long as I can express my feelings, as long as I can flower with you all day long, as long as you're beside me on this special day,  I know I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. I’ll still be contented and happy, ’cause I know your presence and time matters most.

Alongside, Yes we'll fight, I'll get mad at you for various reasons, you'll make me upset by not giving time but my feelings will never change for you. You are my everything. I want you to be a part of my life every step of the way. I love you so much , that it goes past what words could possibly mean. I need you like every breath of air I take. Our meaningful yet funny talks are something I've never shared with anyone else. I really want it to last and steal your last name. 

Just always remember, through thick and thin I'll be here for you. In your ups and downs I'll be beside you. Whatever happens, I'll always be your baby girl.  

Once again, Happy 2nd year anniversary to the love of my life. Someone whom I just can't let go though I might have to, Someone for whom I've wasted buckets and buckets of my precious tears, Someone who means the most to me, Someone whose place no one can ever take . :*

I still dream of our happily ever after..

P.S Your baby girl is pretty upset and angry though because you never talked to her properly in this very special month. She felt so lonely and missed you terribly. She hopes she still reside in your heart. 

Love you tons & tons <3 

Dear God, 
You know Jamkora unintentionally hurt me & I'm pretty mad because he himself is confused - The other day when I told him all our special anniversary plans , he said 'I'm ever ready' but now he says 'No Skype because its gona be painful, but lets do something special' 
Oh God, whats got into my boy? 
Why doesn't he understand that his wifey has waited for 2 whole years for this special day when she could  see him live & hear him, uhh? 
Can't you make him understand please? You know nah he is a bit stubborn and would always do what he feels like doing. And tell me what special thing we can do if not Skype? 
We can make videos , something which we always do and will be doing this time too. What else? we can get cupcakes, I got  a donut last time too nah & surprised him. Don't you think only Skyping will make it extra special? :O I'll wear nice clothes, maybe red, one of his favorite colors and my oh so handsome hubby can dress up nicely too and wear something black (because I want him to) and then we can have a 30 min live chat. Sounds so exciting and romantic <3 God, will you please make Jamkora understand this? Please? 
I always compromise and listen to Jamkora nah, be it studying like a good girl, eating properly, showing him what I had, wearing his favorite color, sending him as many pictures as he wants? Then why doesn't my cutie  listen to me once? And I only had 3 wishes nah, out of which there is only one he can fulfill. Then can't my boy do that? It'll be the best gift on earth and I'll always remember it. You know nah, I don't want any gifts like clothes, sandals, etc etc but just this? 
And will you tell me why is Jamkora trying to be like Maan Singh Khurana? When he makes me upset by saying don't ask for things which I can't give you, we can't skype, blah blah then why he starts showing me attitude? Am I not supposed to be mad at him rather than him being mad at me? Double standards, Grr. In both cases why should I say sorry. When its my mistake, then me jerry runs after Tom and make up nah then Tom should realize this too. 
You know what God, if you want me to cry all the time and if you don't want anything to turn in our favor, then you take my life away. Because I can't be strong anymore. Im tired of fighting all odds. 
You know very well I love Jamkora soooo very much but that doesn't mean i'll ALWAYS compromise & bow down. I have to take a stand sometimes too for my rights. 
One more thing, seems like Jamkora has forgotten the rules of our relationship which I told him the other day - that if we fight, argue or get upset over sth, we are not supposed to stay without talking to each other for more than a day. But I think Jamkora likes to stay away already despite being 4000 miles away from me :(
I can't even hug him. All I can do is hug my pink pillow and imagine that its him. How ironic. -_-
I miss my cutie soo much especially his stoopid jokes which makes me smile wide but only if he will stop being MSK and message me, then things might get better. Else I won't talk to him. No need to melt and soften my heart this time God. Im angry, hurt and upset. Jamkora needs to understand.

See I'm crying now even. 
Please make everything okay God. Please..

Signing off for now.
Jamkora's Hamkora.
Hello Love, I swear I was craving to write a long lovey dovey post for you since so many days . So yes today I'm finally doing it considering you are in a good mood these days. :D
So yeah after a fight when we patch up, everything seems better . And these days All is well & Perfect. My monster has become a good boy. Hehe. Anyways I'm loving the fact that we talk nearly everyday for hours and hours. And I can tell you everything that's on my mind. No matter if I talk with you all day long, I still can't get enough of it. :P I'm happy men . You make me smile wide. And makes me feel special too . <3
This picture says it all. I'm truly blessed. Now don't go on Cloud 9. Jk :P
Okay so I have to tell you this. Before I found you, whenever I came across such quotes , I used to be like someone's heart beating faster because that person is in love is all non-sense, doesn't happen in reality. But tbh, sometimes when you turn up after so many days and I load my inbox to check the msgs, I can feel my heart beating faster . Or when I send you some message and expect a nice reply, same happens. I swear. Its weird okay, I know. But that's the truth. ;) I know I'm crazy la.
Lol don't get mad at this quote. Its actually cute. And yes men I do love my Amazing boyfriend who doesn't have to do much to make me fall head over heels in love with him & can make me smile by some stupid joke of his.

P.S I'm not pestering you. Sometimes I just want to say it all. You'll always be special no matter what my cutie (haha i like to call u cutie so bear with it). *Tight hugs* & *Lots of kisses*
Hope you'll miss me on this special day. xoxo
Tears and laughter. Frowns and smiles. Fights and make up. Arguments and agreements. Loneliness and togetherness. Ups and downs. Bad days and good days. We have been through all this but never thought of giving up!
When you love someone and he also loves you back then you can’t see yourself spending one day without him, he is also that one person you can’t wait to tell your exciting stories and that one person is you.

Of all the years that we've been together, time has tested our love for each other. We survived those hardships and trials along our way. We managed to keep the relationship stronger and better as months pass by. Even if we’re not together now and nearly 4000 miles are separating us, you still never fail to make me blush & smile .

Its been 21 months. Time flies. I'm glad we made it so far, pray and hope that we'll make it till the end. I don't know what future holds for us, but you'll always be in my heart. 21 months back, I never thought you'll become such an important part of my life that spending a day without talking to you will become difficult.

Happy 21 Monthsary Monster. I love you to infinity. <3 <3 :*
Don't make me cry too much. Be a good boy. Make time for me. And always be the reason behind my smile. Don't ever leave me at least as long as circumstances permit, please stay. I don't want to lose you whatsoever.

P.S My not so expressive bf , I hope I 'm getting a nice reply to this lovey dovey meassage of your expressive gf. If you dare ignore this. And just say its nice & bla bla , you better not talk to me then.  Lol,  no fights on our monthsary. But Sigh! This lovey dovey essay has a scolding element in it too now. :P

You are truly a blessing from God. Thank you for being my partner, spouse, lover, and friend. Happy Anniversary <3
Dear James, 

14 months ago, you made me the happiest person alive. Here we are today, 14 months later and still going strong. Our journey hasn’t finished just yet but I am delighted I’ve made it this far with you. There isn’t a day that I am not thinking about us, the future holds so many new obstacles but there are always bumpy roads to happiness. I am lucky to have someone like you, you understand me better than I understand myself. Never did I think I would end up with someone with such a pure heart.

I still don’t know what I did to be so lucky to have you in my life. I am so thankful though. In this time that we’ve been together, I’ve been truly blessed, someone to make me smile when there’s no reason to and make laughter into these wonderful memories that i cant seem to forget. Sometimes life hits you with unexpected things that take you totally by surprise. All I can say is you’re the best surprise life has given me and your capacity for love, caring, and understanding never ceases to amaze me. 

Forgive me for the times when I haven’t been patient; when I’ve blasted off at you or gotten frustrated. Forgive me for when I haven’t been kind; when my tongue has been quicker and sharper than my head or my heart.
Forgive me for those times when I’ve been rude and please forgive me for the many times when I’ve been selfish; when I have sought love instead of offering it.
Forgive me for those times when I get angry quickly and for the times that I let that anger fester and let the anger grow bigger and bitter.
Finally, forgive me when I don’t spend every last breath protecting the man that you are, when I don’t trust you with all that I have, and for the times that I look to the future with worry instead of with hope. I need your forgiveness for these, and for all the future times that I have and will fail and break my promise to you.

Enough sorry, right? :P Now coming to Thyankyou's :)
Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for accepting me for who I am.
Thank you for helping me and pushing me into becoming a better person.
Thank you for somehow understanding me and seeing what makes me special enough to let me be a part of your life.
Thank you for everything for the past 14 months.
When I grow panicky and full of anxiety, you calm and soothe me.  
Thank you for the security that you offer me. 
Thank you for remaining endlessly patient with me. I appreciate your ability to look at me and know that although I am imperfect, my strengths outnumber my weaknesses.
Thank you for truly loving me unconditionally. The knowledge that even when I stumble and fall, you are there to pick me up,  is undoubtedly one of the lovelist gifts ever given to me.
Thank you for supporting me and pushing me further than I think I can possibly go. 
Thank you for promising me forever and for being ever-willing to do the work necessary to keep our relationship strong.
Thank you for investing in our relationship every single day. Making cute videos for me, staying up till late to flower with me, sending me love songs, sending me gifts especially the ring which I'm gonna get soon. Thank you for being you and thank you for the gift of your love.

We have shared so many memories, sadness, happiness, laughter, hard times and I know there are much more of each of those to come. But I also know that I want you there by my side through each and every one of the memories for the rest of my life.

Now coming back to the point. Its my Monster's Birthday. So wishing you a very HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY JAMES <3 


Well, I may not be physically present to stand by you while you cut your cake, but you’ll be in my thoughts today & forever ! It may be sad that we are apart on this day, but know that things are about to change. This year may be full of surprises and your first one comes from me. May your day be as promising a you are. 

So Monster, Light the candles, Cut the cake, Close your eyes, Make a wish that God bring us together forever, Pop the balloons, Dance and Shake. Make it a day that's simply GREAT ! 

P.S I so wish to be there on your B'day but no worries cos I'm already with you right now .. On your MIND & In your HEART And, we shall celebrate your B'day with a BANG once we meet. 
By the way, I want TREATTT . I hope I'll get it soon xx. 
Enjoy your day to the fullest Love <3 

Here's your B'day Surprise. Hope watching this will make you feel more special <3

Link : 

*Hugging you tight* & *Tons of Kisses* ;)

Love you to Infinity James <3 <3 <3


Dear Monster,

First of all I just want to thank you for coming into my life. You took me by surprise, I wouldn't ever think that I would be as lucky to have you, but now that I have you I don't ever want to let go. You have brought so much love, joy, and happiness that no other guy has ever shown me. I love you so much!!

You mean the world to me, and I know that we have problems but I know we can get through it. Hatred stirs dissensions but love can cover all wrongs! Thanks for sticking by me through thick and thin. You and I have shared so much together, and have been through everything, we have just taken over a special part in each other's lives . Today since its 24th Oct'12 , so Happy 10 months . We are just 2 months away from celebrating our 1st Anniversary ;)

Ham xx

A relationship that started off over the internet one that began as simple chatting but soon began to bloom to something so much more.  I & He met on our favorite TV shows FB page.  But how strange that you could find someone so wonderful and fall so deeply in love with a person you hardly know but as the chat time evolves to hours at a time you begin to realize that love knows no distance that feelings can be shared although there is thousands of kilometers separating you. You go through phases when you wonder why things could be so difficult and why everyday it seems as if another obstacle is in the way, but all this seems so irrelevant when spending that precious time with the person you love.

Now we talk almost daily & there was a time when he messaged me every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. 
He tells me he loves me and I believe him and I do believe that what I feel for him is love. 

Simply put, he is amazing.  He's so funny, so handsome, so caring, so intelligent, so loving, so... everything.  And it's not crazy infatuation-  I know he's not perfect, nobody is.  He is however perfect for me.  

There are  endless, FB messages & emails. I miss him terribly when he isn't around and there are times when it would be so very nice to have that hug for those rough moments (which seem endless when facing alone) but I remember, we may be separated by distance but not in the mind, heart, and soul. We talk about everything that happens during the day, good and bad. As best as we can - we are there for one another and support each other through our lives. We cherish each moment, never take one another or times for granted, and when together we enjoy our times to the fullest.

For the first few months we  talked atleast 4 times a week at night when he returned from office. He don't know Urdu/Hindi so always took my help in translating things for him in English and that was when i felt my first connection with him because I was the one whom he used to approach for translating things most of the time. He said he loved talking to me and i said the feeling was mutual so from then on we seemed to talk every other day even to the point that i would wait up until 3 am just to talk with him (my excuse was i couldn't  sleep because i usually sleep late but in reality i used to be really sleepy ). We talked more and more until eventually it seemed like we only had facebook to talk to one another but we never really showed feelings for one another we just seemed to always say how much we loved talking together and inside I felt something for him that i had never felt for anyone though i had never even met him, the day of realization came after about 1.5 months of continuously talking.  

Soon he met with an accident & landed up in the hospital. His sudden disappearance made me worried. When I inquired he told me that he had a fight with someone and was hit by a bottle on the head. He was supposed to have a surgery. His last words before going in the OT made me mad at him . He said "I hope something goes wrong with me. I wish to die but before that you ought to know that I love you". This brought tears in my eyes , I replied in anger "I wish to die before  something happens to you" & I left promising myself not to talk to him again. 
I was expecting him to return by night but he didn't , this made me tensed. Luckily, after a day I got a message but it was his friend who told me he is in critical situation & need my prayers. I prayed for him like I never prayed for anyone else. I kept asking his friend about how he is after almost every hour. When he couldn't gain conscious for a day , I couldn't control & cried helplessly. I was stunned because a strong girl like me was crying for a fb friend. That time I felt there is something about him else why would I cry like this for just a fb friend. 

On valentines, he made a video for me & told  he loved me too because I already confessed my love for him  when I was flooded with so many questions . That moment my heart just exploded with joy. I always hesitated to tell him what I feel for him until he did. I couldn't believe we both had the same connection and that he had loved me for the same length of time, i was ecstatic at the thought of finally loving someone and he loved me too. The exact date was Feb 14th 2012 that we officially became a couple and I told this to my bestfriends and to the amazement of my friends that i knew personally, they couldn't believe that i was in a relationship with someone i had never met but nobody could take this feeling from me or understand it. 

 I used to be that kind of person, swearing up and down that I'd never be in a  relationship, because all guys are same, relationships are for time pass, they never work out, and there's room for your significant other to cheat on you. 
But then I fell in love, completely by accident, and learned first hand that you don't choose who you fall in love with no matter how difficult things are. 

We talk almost every night , sometimes several times a day, and we still haven't gotten tired of each other or run out of things to talk about. We fight, of course, just like any other couple, and yell and call each other names, but there's never any doubt that we'll make up and things will be fine. I feel after the fights we sort of feel closer, less distant, and the way we resolve it, we talk it out and everything is then fine. We say our sorry's, we say we love each other so much and stuff and it's all. He knows how to make me feel better easily, he's understanding and just...amazing.

We've known each other for 9 months 21 days , and have been officially together for the past 8 months 1 day, and the good times have been the best of my life... But all the times in between? When you're upset & you want to hug someone, when you're crying & want someone to wipe your tears , when you need someone to talk to and when you don't have a hand to hold ... You start to feel like some unloved social reject who can't get a boyfriend despite how you do have a boyfriend, and you are very much loved by someone, it's just someone who's not present. 

We have experienced a lot of emotions over this time and distance, ups and downs, and still we find ourselves reaching out to one another.
"True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever-growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, cried together, laughed together."  
Yearning for the time when we can be together, wondering if it will ever happen.  Praying to God for patience and enough love to bridge this gap until we are face to face.  I often find myself wondering, what will that first moment together be like?  Will we laugh?  Will we cry? But the biggest question is will we be able to meet some day? 

That first tentative, feeling like you are losing your mind, "I love you", has turned into  the sweetest, most wonderful love either one of us could have ever imagined.

I can feel that he loves me more than before, that's for sure.. He's my Mr.perfect that I love more than anyone else, my Mr.perfect that I care for more than anyone else. 

I'm really lucky to have a wonderful guy, who loves me, treats me right, shows me how special I am to him, cares for me, is loyal, cute, sweet, sincere, has a big heart and wonderful feelings towards me and the most important thing: shares his feelings and thoughts with me . I love him so much and no matter how many miles exist between his country and mine, no one will affect all these amazing feelings we share.I feel so proud of this relationship that my Monster and I have... I think that saying thanks for coming into my life won't be enough to express all the gratitude I feel for having him as part of my life. 

But since everyone says the course of true love is never smooth . " The course of true love never did run smooth. "
Just like that the two of us have no idea how things would be for us in the upcoming months. 

We both know we'll have to break up one day because things wont turn in our favor  But then I love him so much. He is my first crush, my first love ever. How can I let go of someone who had given me so many beautiful memories, who has always helped me out, who always brought a smile on my face , who understands me well,  who cares for me so much, and most of all who loves me. 
"My bf is arguably the best bf in the world. He will sit with me through anything that's wrong and he knows every time something is bothering me. He would do anything when I'm sick just to make me feel better. He would do anything for me ever just to see me smile. I love him so much for being the best."

The mere thought of loosing him bring tears in my eyes. But remember,
"Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter."
Because he has become my addiction . He is just like a drug . I just cant stop thinking about him. He is always on my mind no matter how far we are from each other . I just find it hard to spend a day without talking to him then how can I expect to live my whole life without him. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am the most unluckiest girl on earth because the  person whom I  love more than anyone else cant be MINE. 

I love him more by every passing day . 
Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know I can't do that. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I will have to make it through this.

The feelings grow stronger. The more I try to stay away from him, the more I get attracted towards him. Though I have been advised by people to go with the flow & he also takes his future as it comes - But I am afraid to loose him therefore I just cant stop thinking about our future which is uncertain. 

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

The questions popping in my mind are unanswerable . Will we have to let go of each other? Will we have to breakup considering there is hardly 1% chance of us getting married? Will there be a sad ending to this love story as well?

So today, I've finally realized that I'll have to see him leaving me one day. This is a bitter truth, but no one can change the  reality. I don't regret a single thing infact I feel proud to be loved by someone like him. But the time has come for me to accept someone else at my place. Its going be more than painful for me. 

But I would want to see my monster HAPPY , even if I am not the reason behind it. I wish him all the very best for his future life. 

My world has already fallen apart. I have lost that one person who is my world. All those dreams are shattered. I still feel the same for him today as I did 8 months back. Its just that I'll have to stop myself from showing all those feelings. 

I need him right now more than ever. But I just can't tell him. He is with me today even but my heart says he is no more mine. Might be he was never mine. I wish I could have realized all this long back cos I've fallen too deeply. I don't know how will I get out of all this even.

I want to spend our anniversary with him that is on Dec 24, but how will I pass these two months ? Knowing he'll have to leave me someday & will marry that girl anyway . Things might get worse in these 2 months cos we won't obviously talk much trying to distance ourselves from one another.. And will eventually get more attached. The communication gap already kills me. I hope it'll be worth waiting for our anniversary  spending two tough months . May God give me the courage to deal with the worst situation. 

I still love you Monster more than you could imagine.But I would never get the chance to be called your wife. Yeah it'll be her. Not me. That's what God wants.

Maybe its true that true lovers can't  always be ONE. There are always some hurdles in their way. 

True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.